November 27, 2013

Joyfully Standing Amongst the Thorns

"Where you lead, I will follow..."
"Where you go, I'll go.."
"Have your way.."
"I trust you"
"You are good!"

We love to sing songs with lyrics like these as we worship on Sundays...with hands raised and all.  And, it is so easy for us when things are going our way, when life is going well, and when opens doors we were praying would open.

But......what happens when God actually calls you outside of where you "thought" He was asking you to go? What happens when God beckons you to actually step out of the boat of comfort that you have worked so hard to sit in and calls you out onto waters that you are completely clueless how to sail?  What happens when the journey to your destination takes a turn that you weren't expecting? What happens when life throws you a curveball, that takes the wind out of your sails?  What happens when the rug you thought God had given you to stand on is pulled out from underneath you?

In these moments, are we still singing?  Are we still praising? Are we still trusting?  

So often in these moments, my heart goes to....
"what did I do wrong God?'...
"what steps do I take to get out of this?"...
"how long until you take me back to where I was headed?, into waters that I feel comfortable navigating, how long until I can stand again, how long until I can breathe without pain.."

But, what if these struggles, are actually the "thorns" of purpose? What if these are the very things in life that God has intended to shape us?  What if these "hiccups" aren't hiccups at all...but muscle builders? If we actually believe that His power is made perfect in our weakness, then why do we keep expecting God to put us in situations where we always feel strong?  If we actually believe that He works all things together for good...why do we keep expecting things to always "feel good" or "be good"? ...If He is the one who prospers us...then why do we expect to be prosperous in every moment?  How would God ever get the glory if we humans were allowed to select our struggles, or choose to eject from them whenever it suited us?

My heart has been in a place over the past several months that I have been having myself a pity party.  I even brought wine, cheese, and a little violin to really celebrate. I threw on a blindfold and spent hours playing "pin the tail on the donkey," all to kill the time until God would finally "remove me from the struggle or the pain that I was sitting in"....and as I sit in His presence tonight, I am aware that I can really be a donkey...(there's another word I would prefer to use, but I will spare you.)  I am grateful that His mercies are new every morning, and that it is never too late for today, I am asking for God to shift my perspective. I am asking that He would allow me sit wherever He chooses, painful or not, if it means that He will be accomplishing His greater purposes in me.  I am choosing to thank Him for the struggles and for being a God who doesn't simply give me what I want...but rather what I need.

I want to joyfully stand amongst the thorns, pricking me where they may, for I believe with all of my heart, that someday they will turn to roses.  For someday, I will stand in the presence of my Savior, and on that day I will have been made complete, I will have been perfected through the winds that have blown, through the thorns that have pricked me, and through the rains that have beat down on me (leaving me with bad hair days).

Today I'm singing a new song....
"Where you lead, I will follow..."  even when it seems like its not the right path...
"Where you go, I'll go.."....even when it isn't where I want to go...
"Have your way.."  even when it is far from the way that I would've chosen...
"I trust you" ALL things.
"You are good!"   ALWAYS...even when it doesn't feel good.

1 comment:

  1. words of beauty, marred by imperfection, but guided by His hands...