All too often we get hung up searching for our purpose on this planet. We walk thru season after season of unfulfillment, searching, digging, praying for a sign of what God wants us to do. Our stomachs end up in knots as we ponder if we are "hitting the mark", if we have "found success", or if we are "on the right path". We search and wonder when we will find the "favor of God", when we will find our "calling", etc. I know, because it is where I lived for years.
I would begin to believe that I knew my unique calling, but at the first sign something seemed a bit "off", I would worry that I had misunderstood the voice of God, which would lead me on a downward cycle of whether I had ever heard from God. I would worry about the 'how" when it comes to finding His will. I would worry that I was wasting time in redeeming this life that He gave me for His purposes, and that somehow I was being disobedient. And the truth is, I was wasting time, I was being disobedient. I was self-absorbed, searching to fulfill MY PURPOSES, not HIS. My prayer were consumed with me, my trajectory, my calling, my training, my, my, my. OH MY! :)
God's will really isn't that complex, nor is He hard to find. He is present, and waiting for the day where we will rest, and know that He is God....where we will step into what He called us to...obedience, taking steps in the direction of Him, serving Him, loving others, making disciples of nations, day by day. He patiently waits as we search and come up empty every single time. He patiently waits as we struggle through trying to figure out who we are. He allows the toil, because it shapes our character, and he waits patiently until we realize that it's HIM we are searching for. His favor is dwelling in His children, those who are born again. His will, is that we would make His name famous, and make disciples of nations. WE find our purpose, when we find Him. And when we find Him, He draws us into serving others...where we find His purposes.
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others........., have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, .............. he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,..... (Philippians 2:1-7 NIV)
Stop wrestling. Stop searching. Rest. Instead of trying to find yourself, find HIM. Instead of searching for your purpose, search for His purposes. Instead of trying to be "something", take the form of a servant. That is where true fulfillment lies.