April 5, 2007
To wear or not to wear.....that is the question.
It never fails....every time I sing I am tempted to go back to old habits and get hung up on "what I am wearing". As if Jesus cares what I wear!! (I am sure that it matters that I do wear something Lord..but you don't care if it is a jacket or a blouse or a dress.....you just want me!) It's amazing how easy it is to be tempted to slip back into those habits.....and yes...for me this is an area that the enemy tempts me....it may be silly to some, but for me it is a real battle. You see, the enemy tries his absolute hardest to distract me from what really matters (serving God) to focus on that which does not matter (dressing cute!) .....the problem is that sometimes he is successful, I start to stress about if something will be flattering on me or not, ......"no my hips look to big in that, too much chest in that (which does matter to God), that color washes me out, yada yada yada." So today...rather than being in God's word and really focusing on the meaning of this weekend, I was out shopping to find the perfect pastel shirt, even though I have already searched high and low (several times) and to be honest....I already have one, I just don't think I look "just right" in it. I not only was looking, I was hunting, I was obsessed, man ......I was getting a full-on workout from all the clothes that I tried on...and my little baby girl was looking at me like I was nuts (which I am by the way) . Something in me snapped as I looked at her...I don't want her to struggle with this same battle, and yet her tiny little four month brain is already taking in what her crazy mom is doing and I decided "enough is enough"! God also revealed to me that once again I wasted a day of precious time at His feet. I am so glad that I realized this before the weekend was over......because I still have precious time available and I plan on being with Him so that He can fill my needs....because when I stop and think about it, I know full well that I am beautiful because I am His...I don't need the right outfit, I just need Him! He will make His glory shine through me and whatever I am wearing will be lost. My goal as a worship leader is that I would take all focus off me and point to my Saviour.....but my actions today were selfish.....all about me and how I would look....but tomorrow is a brand new day (Thank God) and I will rejoice that He teaches me valuable lessons daily. Pray for me this weekend please, that the enemy will not distract me from what matters most, serving my King.