I will mark this day March 23, 2010 as a day that God changed my life forever. He pulled away the fish bowl I have been staring thru for years and gave me CLEAR insight to His love. Until today in staff worship at LifePoint Church, I didn't really recognize that I might not truly believe that God deeply loved me, accepted me, and took delight in me. I have that faith for everyone else around me, but allowing it to ring in the core of my being is something I have struggled with for years.
It started last night when I was reading PSALM 139 and I journaled and asked God to make it ring true in my heart that I am "fearfully & wonderfully made". I know it is true because it is in HIs word...but feeling it has been a different story. I have always just thought that the head knowledge of this was enough...I didn't realize how much God longed for me to "feel" His love, to know His love...not just because it is in HIs word...but because of A HOLY SPIRIT TOUCH.
As I sat listening to my fellow teammates singing, I couldn't sing (which is crazy for me...I LOVE TO SING)...I journaled and God poured thru my purple ink....
He said "Do you know who you are...in me, my child?"
CHOSEN. SET APART. RESERVED FOR HOLINESS.
I asked that God would help me to feel the truth in that..and to help me believe it deep within my core........and BOY DID HE.
See, I am a shopper. I love to search thru stores to find something unique, fun...something that makes me smile. I often have to put the item on hold because I can't afford it..but if I love it...I usually find a way to return for it. God spoke to me in my humanness, knowing exactly how I am wired (because He is my engineer) and said to me......
"I chose you (like the items you search for), I set you apart (like you put items on hold), I paid the price, & I will return for you...YOU ARE MINE. I picked you out because I take delight in you, you make me smile...you are gorgeous & precious to me.. I HAD TO HAVE YOU! I will not choose to abandon you like your father did, nor will I forget about you..you are too precious.
I realize that God sees me as more valuable than some awesome shirt that I find at my favorite store..so I am not reducing my value...but God spoke to me in a way that He knew I would understand, in a way that would help me to connect to the feeling of it
And you know what? For the first time ever....this Christ following lady...BELIEVED HIM, and I FELT IT DEEPLY. I will never be the same from my experience today...NEVER. I am so thankful that God is not content to leave us the same! Amazing to me that I was clueless of my ignorance....and God pressed the envelope today with a purple pen. NOW THAT'S MY GOD.
Is there an area that you need to ask God to have your "feelings" catch up to the truth?