March 23, 2010

God wrote on my heart with a purple pen

I will mark this day March 23, 2010 as a day that God changed my life forever. He pulled away the fish bowl I have been staring thru for years and gave me CLEAR insight to His love. Until today in staff worship at LifePoint Church, I didn't really recognize that I might not truly believe that God deeply loved me, accepted me, and took delight in me. I have that faith for everyone else around me, but allowing it to ring in the core of my being is something I have struggled with for years.

It started last night when I was reading PSALM 139 and I journaled and asked God to make it ring true in my heart that I am "fearfully & wonderfully made". I know it is true because it is in HIs word...but feeling it has been a different story. I have always just thought that the head knowledge of this was enough...I didn't realize how much God longed for me to "feel" His love, to know His love...not just because it is in HIs word...but because of A HOLY SPIRIT TOUCH.

As I sat listening to my fellow teammates singing, I couldn't sing (which is crazy for me...I LOVE TO SING)...I journaled and God poured thru my purple ink....

He said "Do you know who you me, my child?"

I asked that God would help me to feel the truth in that..and to help me believe it deep within my core........and BOY DID HE.

See, I am a shopper. I love to search thru stores to find something unique, fun...something that makes me smile. I often have to put the item on hold because I can't afford it..but if I love it...I usually find a way to return for it. God spoke to me in my humanness, knowing exactly how I am wired (because He is my engineer) and said to me......
"I chose you (like the items you search for), I set you apart (like you put items on hold), I paid the price, & I will return for you...YOU ARE MINE. I picked you out because I take delight in you, you make me are gorgeous & precious to me.. I HAD TO HAVE YOU! I will not choose to abandon you like your father did, nor will I forget about are too precious.

I realize that God sees me as more valuable than some awesome shirt that I find at my favorite I am not reducing my value...but God spoke to me in a way that He knew I would understand, in a way that would help me to connect to the feeling of it

And you know what? For the first time ever....this Christ following lady...BELIEVED HIM, and I FELT IT DEEPLY. I will never be the same from my experience today...NEVER. I am so thankful that God is not content to leave us the same! Amazing to me that I was clueless of my ignorance....and God pressed the envelope today with a purple pen. NOW THAT'S MY GOD.

Is there an area that you need to ask God to have your "feelings" catch up to the truth?


  1. Sunny, that is beautiful. I am so thankful that our God sees the desires of our heart and heals the innermost wounds, that he not only tells us, but shows how just how wide, how deep, how enduring is HIS love for us. ~Kimberly

  2. As I sit in the airport in Birmingham, AL, I read this post. I have tears welling up in my eyes as I consider that God has revealed Himself to you so powerfully on 3/23/10. You will, and should, mark that date for the remainder of your life.

    My tears also are for joy and excitement as God has continued His revelation of His grace and mercy to you. What He is doing in you He has plans to do through you. I can't wait to see what that will look like!

    You ARE loved!


  3. So encouraging to see His Word through your words ;) Thanks for sharing that, my perspective was thirsting for it, URLoved Sister Sunny!

  4. Thanks for sharing this beautiful word...
    I started to tear up when you talked about Him choosing you and and was full on crying when I read "I will not choose to abandon you like your father" (that's my story too)
    Thanks again for sharing..

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  6. I love when God speaks words over us. Jen, it looks like we have more in common than just being women in worship! Glad God touched you through His transformation of my heart

  7. PREACH it!!!

    I'm so glad we could connect. Thanks for your sweet words. You've blessed my heart.