Well, this weekend at CVC I am leading worship, so I am busy preparing my heart, my thoughts, learning the music, etc. I always get so nervous as I prepare, but I think that is exactly where God likes me to be. When my nerves are going crazy, I am right where I belong.....on my knees! It is so awesome each time I step on stage to feel God's presence and His holy spirit work in me. As soon as we start singing, I can feel Him take over....my timidness fades away, and I realize that I am just standing there praising my king. Since I have transitioned to a positioin of leadership in worship....it has been a process to really observe the congregation as I sing. Steve (our creative arts pastor?), gave me some great advice one Sunday....he said, "Leading worship is like having people in your home, they won't know what to do unless you help them." For instance, where do they sit, do they stand, do they kick off their shoes? I always think about that as I lead now.
In praise team we are reading a book called Extravagant Worship by Darlene Zschech, (pick up a copy if you haven't already!) and this book is really challenging me as a leader. This week we have been reading about educating our minds as leaders and she brings up a very good point that is really spinning around in my heart and mind.....she is talking about the importance of being a leader both on and off the stage. She brings up a wonderful point that....."someone, somewhere, will notice if you are committed to worshiping God or not. Don't give them a musical example. People don't need to follow your talent. Give them a life to follow, a life that radiates God's glory." I love that! It is so true. So often we worry about making sure that every note is perfect, but we aren't focusing on our hearts. God is really working on my heart right now! I want to be darn sure that when we take the stage this weekend that my heart is in alignment with God's will, then I know that I am ready for God's power to work in me, I am ready to see lives transformed, and ready to be His spoon! Yeah.....I want to be used to stir people up. I want to see them so stirred up that they are ready to come into relationship with Jesus! And also.....on it's own a spoon is just a spoon. It requires someone to pick it up, and fill it up to put it to use. See...I want God to pick me up, and fill me up to stir up His kingdom. :) (by the way, I am aware that the analogy is pretty silly, but in my crazy brain, it really makes sense!)